The journey never Ends ….

Kuva’s journey as a physical being changed today, May 12th, 2010, around 1:15 pm ….. Ironically or as I believe deliberately today is Gale’s birthday…. Gale is who originally picked him out and adored him.

Gale made her journey transition in January 2003. In November 1998 she insisted we go pick out a puppy from the litter her friend had told her about. Our yellow lab, Toby, had made his transition that June… I was not 100% sure I was ready to do this again… but she insisted.

We saw the puppies when they were just a few days old (I have that photo somewhere around the house!). She was drawn to Kuva right away…. OK so was I!   He was the only one with a white star on his chest…. We claimed him as ours.

December 20th we went back to visit and took a photo of Gale holding him… That picture became his “announcement” to our family & friends – I found it this afternoon and scanned it in (the photo above).

While Gale was the one who insisted we get him…. She had 4 physical years with him… I had him in this physical world for over 11 years. Always patient, always joyful, always there….

5 years ago on May 9th Carol and I blended our families… Now Kuva had another mother to love him!

I’ve spoken before about how loving, smart and wonderful he was…..

In the last 2 weeks his physical life changed…. He was having some difficulty with his front legs – they were getting stiff on him and climbing stairs was getting tough. We had been trying different meds to ease the stiffness – they would work for a day or two – then back to being stiff.

The first weekend of May it was very warm here… he was not on any meds as you need a few days in between – he was having a hard time that weekend – panting a bit. I thought it was the sudden warm weather and the stiffness of his joints.

That Monday the vet prescribed a new med… it worked for 2-3 days and then he started some stiffness again and panting. Only this time it wasn’t hot… This last weekend he was antsy and panting….

Monday

Monday we were back at the vet… This time she was shocked… He had fluid in his lungs… Congestive Heart Failure she said… also it was possible there were some tumors. She sent us home with meds but she didn’t think the prognosis was good…. I don’t really care about diagnosis or prognosis … but in my gut I knew she was right about this – I could feel it.

Driving home with him – he was calm in the car (he was never calm in a car as he always thought you were bringing him somewhere fun!) – When I talked to him – he didn’t look at me… He was looking up in the air – up at the roof of the car. I thought it was unusual – but nothing that day seemed usual!

I spoke with my good friend and Kuva’s sometimes babysitter – Coryelle. She is an Animal Communicator – I asked her to connect with him. Later she sent me her communication – I’m not going to share it all with you – maybe she will — but one of the things he told her was he was seeing the people and animals who he knew and who had passed over already….

Later I spoke with my friend Marge who is a Psychic – I told her what Coryelle said and she asked me if he was looking up into the air. When she said that I remembered our trip in the car! She said he is connecting when he looks up….

That evening he was distant – you could see he was far away not really responding or paying attention to us. Then he wanted to go out on our deck and lay there – he never did that at night before…. It was cold up here but I guess the cold air felt good to him. I was in the other room … and would keep coming back to check on him. I was quiet and stood back and just observed him. He would be laying with his head down… then he would pick his head up and look up into the sky…. he would stay like that for awhile… then put his head back down.

I thought maybe he is going to let go on his own… He is out there connecting with the non-physical and maybe he will join them. I had told him earlier it was OK to let go – he did not need to stay here – we would always be connected. “Kuva – just shut your eyes and let go”

This was the night I was writing the post “This is a Decision I Would Rather Not Make” – That night he was out on the deck for over 3 1/2 hours – Around 3:30 am I went to check on him again… and he was gone. Well he could have went to the yard to go to the bathroom… I waited – No Kuva. I took the flashlight and headed out to see where he was…. Went to the back… No Kuva in sight… over by the carport (he would hang out over there at times) No Kuva… to the front of the house. There he was looking up into the sky…. I looked up too – the stars were magnificent. I quietly said “Do you want to come in?” He got up and started towards the house…. it was a slow walk as walking was taking a lot out of him.

He came in…went into the bedroom and laid down on my side of the bed. I had just written that post… I was thinking – I can’t let him suffer – I need to let him go – I’ll take him in the morning…

Tuesday

The morning came – he seemed a tiny bit better and most important I was not yet getting a clear signal from him.

I had experienced this with our yellow lab, Toby. He had lupus and when he was ready to go he absolutely connected with me and let me know. I felt I needed a clear message like that from Kuva.

I spent much of the day going in to talk with him… sometimes just laying there. There were times he responded but most times he seemed distant. What I was very aware of was he was not giving kisses. He was a big kisser and usually you were covered in them if you sat next to him!

That night he slowly made his way into my office…. awhile later he went into the living room where I could still see him. There was a point I looked over at him…. and I knew – I got the message.

Wednesday

This morning I told him… “OK – I’m going to help you make your transition” – Oh I said lots of other things to him… How much I loved him, how much fun I had with him, how I will always be connected to him… In the car he was calm and would look up every now and then.

We went into the vet’s office – the assistants were so nice to us – they too loved Kuva. They brought him a soft bright blanket to lay on… I layed down next to him and put my head on his back. We stayed like that for several minutes and he showed me an array of scenes from our life together. It was a beautiful, joy-filled, magnificent slide show that I will never forget.

When I looked into his face – he had clarity – for a moment his eyes were wide open again – I could see that joy again in him and he gave me lots of wonderful sloppy kisses!

The vet came in – I held his head in my arms… and slowly, easily – I could feel him letting go… Yes I was crying but this was not just a sad cry – It actually was a wonderful experience feeling him so easily going off – just as he so easily lived his life.

His journey is not ended… he has touched many lives… brought joy and laughter to many. He has given me more gifts than I could even write about here… and I know – he will continue to do so.

Thank You Kuva… for your love, your songs, your snuggles, your joy, your big sloppy kisses and for letting me be a special part in your life and in your transition.